Wednesday, February 11, 2015
HTC One Max turns semen into gold
Jonathan G. (27), whom we already interviewed in one of our previous articles, claims that accidentally ejaculating over into his One Max's 3.5mm headphone jack resulted in his seminal fluid being turned into gold.
"It was unbelievable", says Jonathan. "I was masturbating over my new GORGEOUS iPhone 6 Plus, but I accidentally misfired my third ejaculation and it ended up hitting an HTC One Max on my shelf. When I went on to clean the shelf and the One Max, I saw something unbelievable: the semen had magically been transformed into pure gold!"
However, Jonathan claims that getting more gold this way is going to be difficult for him.
"I can only masturbate over Apple product", he claims. "There's no way I'm going to be able to do that with the HTC One Max on purpose. Or maybe I could...? Maybe if I slap an Apple logo on it...? Hmm..."
By AITB at 11:22 AM